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Private circus at the plaza
Tongue and Blades
‘Sadie!!’ I call out rushing after the girl walking away from the apartments. She stops and turns around ‘Look, it’s really late. Maybe we should do dinner some other time.’ She resignedly says. She must have been waiting long ‘I need you tonight.’ I reveal with a heavy sigh. I did not drive like an insane chap and use my title to keep me out of confinement just to skip dinner with her! She sighs and looks up into my eyes ‘I have an early class.’ She reminds me as I take her into my arms ‘please.’ I whisper. She shuts her eyes and takes in a deep breath, which I seek with my lips on hers.
She grunts, her tense body loosening around me as I stroke her arms and angle my head to delve deeper into the chilling fires of her textures more desperately. I’d almost forgotten what her kiss was like! I almost feel like I have to relearn the essence of her mouth and its fine textures. I groan and dig my hands into her hair, needing to tilt her face higher and dive in deeper. It’s the most devastating thing in my soul to kiss her, to desire for more even when I am eating! To thirst even more when I’m drinking from the wonderful well of her mouth!
She succumbs so beautifully I’m lost for else as my haunches start swinging terrifyingly towards her, the chills of my spine and heat of my hunkers working against me in my swollen state of affairs. We simultaneously pull away from each other, her stepping back as from pressure release, and our breaths erratic as peace and poise is sought twixt us. ‘dinner.’ She breathlessly says ‘dinner.’ I comply as though it wasn’t almost midnight and I had no meal ready for us!! ‘So how did it go?’ She pries in the lift, smiling up at me as I hold her hand and lock our intertwined fingers ‘Anatole was wonderful about it. He loves you.’ I report ‘I mean how the weekend with the family was.’ She explains ‘I am telling you how it was.’ I reveal ‘but the first thing you said was about me.’ She points out ‘maybe it was all about you.’ I shrug lightly.
She smiles ‘your parents wanted to see you about me?’ she investigates ‘that was most of it.’ I divulge looking into her eyes ‘am I in trouble?’ she teasingly inquires ‘apparently you stole some horses from forest rangers.’ I disclose. She chuckles ‘did I forget to tell you that part?’ she speculates wonderfully ‘you did; but father put me right on track.’ I assure her, caressing the smooth cheek with my free palm as the lift opens into my apartment…
‘How are we supposed to have dinner with no food?’ she wonders staring at the immaculate kitchen I’m not accustomed to at all. ‘We could order in.’ I suggest ‘at eleven fifty eight? Where do you know that’s open now?’ she investigates turning to me. ‘I’ll find us something to eat.’ I announce stepping into the kitchen purposefully ‘can you cook?’ she pries ‘not if I like you.’ I swear as she chuckles and follows me in ‘I’ll start with the higher drawers and you could start wherever you wish.’ I delegate. She smiles and shakes her head ‘spoilt brats.’ She sighs and starts opening drawers as I spot cutlery and more cutleries. ‘Cereal!’ I announce triumphantly ‘I found your food store.’ She says opening a door ‘the pantry!’ I rejoice rushing to it. That explains why I don’t have a fridge! It’s in here! ‘Why do you need all this food?’ she wonders looking around ‘I’m always entertaining Hilliard, Emery, Koen and Leigh every Friday for poker and drinks after dinner.’ I reveal shocked that we need this much food as well ‘here we are, noodles.’ She says picking them out on tip toe ‘what with?’ I wonder walking to the canned meats ‘any fish?’ she wonders taking out fish spice. I go through them and remove two cans of tuna. ‘And for desert ladies and gentlemen!’ she says removing strawberry gelatin powder. I didn’t even know gelatin came in powder!!
‘Just stand there and look like you know what you’re doing.’ She chuckles as I steal some more of the delicious gelatin powder and lick it ‘they should sell this as candy.’ I decide ‘they do.’ She reveals mixing it with the water in the bowl expertly. ‘So the more you stir it the more it solidifies?’ I wonder ‘no. I’m going to stick it in the freezer so it can solidify.’ She explains ‘good; because that would be against the laws of kinetics.’ I point out as she pours it into two little heart shaped bowls I picked out and pretended was all we had. ‘Don’t touch anything.’ She warns me as she walks back to the pantry. I grab the tin of gelatin powder and shake it into my mouth; she won’t notice! I smile as she walks back out ‘all we need is a salad for the noodles and fish.’ She says walking to the sink with lettuce and avocado and tomatoes in her hands. I chuckle as she removes two lemons from the pockets of the dress and then reaches in to remove a can of something ‘I don’t have seven hands.’ She points out ‘I’m not saying anything.’ I state light
‘Step away from the gelatin Herve.’ She says removing a knife and grabbing a bowl ‘I didn’t have any.’ I report ‘is that pimples around your mouth then?’ she wonders putting the knife down and walking to me ‘where?’ I probe feigning innocence as she takes me by the chin and lowers my face to her as though she was about to kiss me. Her tongue comes cool and hot at the same time against the side of my lips. I grunt and shut my eyes, feeling the air knocked out of me ‘that’s gelatin.’ She whispers and then ambles back to the sink. She didn’t just do that to me!! She didn’t!! Jesus Christ! What did I ever do to deserve this agony!! She strips the lettuce and in my mind it plays out like it was me she was stripping, the avocados being undressed and sliced, the thick globular seed falling; everything she was doing was more than erogenous. She dices the tomatoes expertly as the banging of the knife against the board sounds much like a beat to which I would bash our privates against the counter right now, squeezing the lemon like I would her breasts! This is too much!! I grunt and walk to her resolutely.
‘Herve!’ she gasps as I bear down on her back with my crotch compressing her front haunches against the counter, my hands scheming up her dress to her breasts as I breath coarsely into her ear, cupping the two mounds possessively ‘Herve…’ she huskily reiterates as her back arcs for me, her gaze meeting mine as I land my mouth on hers, massaging the pliable knolls in my palms as I dive my tongue into the warm theatre. She moans as I seek her mouth as though it were detrimental to world security!
She makes a little cry as my throat releases something inaudible yet akin to a bear I would think! I let go of the hillocks and reach for the hem of the dress, pulling it up decisively; I had to have her! And there was no better time for that than now!! I tow it past her thighs and then reveal her backside for my aching loins, my kiss growing deeper as anticipation flows through all of me like a destructive tidal wave. She was going to be mine in a minute! I reach for the girlie boxers she is wearing and slide my hands in as she jerks violently in my arms and then flips out like a fish out of water, retracting and waving her hand around chaotically ‘WHAT!!’ I growl vulgarly as she whimpers and continues to shake her hand.
I grunt and grab the hand with the very hand that just got to third base! Blood! I panic at the sight and then try recalling the little first aid I know as she jumps around in agony. I lead her to the sink and place her hand under running water as I try figure out what the hell just happened! ‘You’ll be fine; relax.’ I vow ‘I almost cut off my finger!’ she cries out almost in tears now ‘it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have attacked you like that so close to a knife.’ I grunt guiltily ‘do you have band aid?’ she wonders pouting up at me. I fight a smile ‘I doubt it. I can go check if you promise you won’t run off ’ I suggest. She smiles ‘with my finger prints and DNA all over the place?? I’m stuck here.’ She assures me. I peck her cheek and dash off to my bathroom in search of some mediplast or something…
‘I can’t believe I almost cut my engagement ring finger! Where would I have put my engagement ring??’ she exclaims looking at the bandaged finger ‘on your middle finger.’ I lightly say digging into my fish. I can’t believe I almost had her! Just about! Again! I was right there! About to drive home the car and then her finger met the knife!! ‘You think this is funny!’ she accuses me ‘I think the circumstances are tragic but the results are quite entertaining.’ I divulge with a shrug ‘maybe this is a sign.’ She sighs studying the finger some more with a fretful sigh. ‘A sign of what?’ I investigate.
She turns her gaze to me ‘I almost cut off my engagement finger; maybe the universe is telling me I’ll never get married.’ She grunts ‘that’s lunacy.’ I decide ‘what if it’s not?’ she wonders ‘you can’t think of everything that way.’ I proclaim as she studies her finger ‘it’s not a curse Sadie.’ I assure her ‘I hope not. I have the greatest wedding planned in my mind.’ She coos ‘really?’ I probe with a smile ‘why do you always do that?’ she wonders ‘what?’ I pry ‘every time I say something you find hard to believe you give me this smile that’s something evil and then say something stupid like ‘Really’ or ‘She really likes you’ or something else!’ she laments. I smile ‘I should change my formula then.’ I note. She grunts and digs into her noodles.
I smile to the suspicious frowning woman and grab my bowl of noodles then walk to her, come on.’ I say taking her hand. She grabs her bowl and follows me to the loggia. ‘What are you doing?’ she pries as I fit her on the divan right into my arms ‘setting the romantic mood for you to tell me about your dream wedding.’ I announce ‘you don’t even believe I have a wedding planned out.’ She points out ‘you just don’t seem the type to be tied down that way.’ I shrug ‘I’m not marriage material?’ she tetchily probes ‘that’s not what I said.’ I decline ‘it sounded like that’s what you said.’ She states shaking her head at me ‘what I said is that you seem like the kind that didn’t believe in marriage.’ I explain calmly ‘well I do and you have a very big misconception of which I am not Mr!’ she hisses ‘and that’s what I’m rectifying at the moment.’ I assure her ‘you best be on it!’ she announces snapping her fingers at me comically. I fight a smile
‘Tell me about the wedding.’ I entreat her ‘I can’t.’ she decides ‘why not?’ I wonder with a little smile, something telling me there wasn’t any grand wedding in her mind ‘because frankly I wouldn’t marry you and I don’t want you forcing your wife to steal my wedding ideas.’ She announces ‘that hurts.’ I decide reaching for my heart and gripping it ‘try cutting your engagement finger.’ She suggests ‘why wouldn’t you marry me Sadie?’ I crustily pry ‘you mean why I wouldn’t marry a spoilt rich boy with no ambition and truckloads of charm? The kind of guy who lives in a castle and lacks any survival skills if the fortune he has been promised crashes with the London Stock Exchange or something? I don’t know; maybe I’m a bit more sensible than that.’ she shrugs and then digs into her noodles
‘It’s in bonds.’ I reveal ‘well good for you.’ She says ‘and I’m not used to the notion of a girl not wanting to wed me.’ I add ‘welcome to earth.’ She says with that sharp delicious tongue of hers ‘I’m also very close to being officiated as an actuary; I could always do that if things go awry.’ I argue out. She chuckles ‘did you catch that? An actuary’s supposed to soften the blow when things go awry but you are going to revert to actuary if things go awry.’ She points out laughing. I would laugh too if the gaping hole I thought I had filled wasn’t staring me in the face again; this sense of inadequacy!!
‘Are you okay? You look pale.’ She notes studying me with a furrowed brow ‘I’m fine.’ I say trying to pull my gaze away from the abyss ‘ you’re scaring me.’ She says shifting in the seat ‘I think it’s a headache.’ I reveal feeling an aching numbness ‘you should go sleep then.’ She says standing up. I reach for her. I can’t be alone in this emptiness! ‘Please don’t.’ I beseech her. She takes a seat and caresses my face ‘what’s wrong?’ she whispers ‘I don’t know; I feel bare.’ I reveal shivering. She sighs and takes my bowl, placing it on the floor before she stretches out besides me and then looks up at the stars
‘do you believe in heaven?’ she suddenly asks me ‘heaven?’ I wonder gruffly ‘bliss, paradise, ecstasy, rapture, cloud nine, dreamland every religion on earth has the same notion of it, this great place with supreme happiness and peace.’ She explains ‘I suppose I believe.’ I shrug ‘what if I told you we came from there?’ she whispers ‘I’d say you were discrediting Darwin.’ I lightly reply ‘what if I said that Darwin was my reason for saying that?’ she probes ‘I’d want to heed what you have to say.’ I admit
‘There’s a place up there somewhere; we like to call it heaven but its real name is home, and we are all really home sick.’ She whispers ‘we are?’ I wonder ‘Yeah, the fucked up part is we don’t know how we got here, we just know it’s not home. Some people say eve gave Adam an apple and we got screwed, other people say a meteorite brought us here, other people think Moses took the wrong turn in the desert, all we know is that we’re not home.’ She says ‘how do we get home?’ I wonder ‘some people say nirvana, others say death but no one really knows for sure. The important part is this, we’re not home , so what do we do about it?’ she pries
‘feel empty and numb.’ I realize in astonishment ‘exactly, so we seek to fill this numbness with goals and aspirations and dreams, we look for a reason to see tomorrow, we hope that whatever we put our minds into can win us the way back home. We reach for the sky and when we get there we want the moon and when we get there we want the planets and when we get there we want the sun, eventually we’ll want something else. We aspire, and our aspirations keep us going. We’re trying to earn our way home.’ She reveals
‘And I’ve been told all my life that I have no need to aspire.’ I realize ‘exactly, so all you can do is look out the window of life feeling empty and home sick.’ She concludes for me ‘I have to aspire!’ I announce having my very own eureka moment, the stars looking down at me as if to comply ‘that’s it.’ She urges me ‘I’m going to aspire!’ I decide, feeling the numb retrieve. I’m going to aspire! Because I’m a heavenly being who needs to get back home! That’s what I need to do!
I turn to her ‘how long have you known this?’ I demand as she smiles ‘that’s a long story.’ She shrugs. I grunt and take her lips into mine; melding them in a symphony of hope running through my veins ‘you’re wonderful.’ I whisper to her, kissing her forehead ‘and I’m going to have to get home now.’ She adds. ‘I’ll drop you.’ I offer ‘don’t. I can’t lose another finger.’ She lightly says ‘then stay here with me tonight.’ I offer ‘I’m not about to have sex with you.’ She points out ‘you don’t have to. Let’s just stay up and talk about all these wonderful things you know that I don’t.’ I implore her frantically. She smiles ‘I’m cold.’ she points out ‘we don’t have to stay out here...
