Finchbergsen Trails

To The Next Page

Picture
Eventual Freedom

The Fire Brigadier & The Retard

Picture

I don’t know how it happened! I don’t know how it happened! The words run through my mind as I stare at the ceiling.  You always think your ceiling is smooth and evenly toned until you tell a lass you love her and she ineptly finds a motive to scurry out of here like a mouse before a lion! That’s when you grasp that some parts of the ceiling had bumps and other parts had thinner coats of paint and others looked like rice fields!

 That’s when you anticipate that it will fall on you and you don’t have to face tomorrow knowing that you told her those nasty words and she ran out of here like her apartment was on fire! You could use a reason to pull out the selective amnesia card out right now!!How did it happen? Everything was going on track! Everything is going on track! And then there I was looking into those eyes and there were those words! And then the realization that they were an acknowledgment of something I had been ignoring; I love her! I love her?? I love her!!!

I shut my eyes and scoff in the dark of the lonely apartment, the moonlight streaming in through the loggia whose door she left wide open when racing off to pull a precious kitten down from a tree like the fire brigade was her middle name! I heave a sigh and smooth my face in my palms as though I was trying to mould it into the face of someone else; preferably someone who didn’t fall in love with Sadie Weema the slave of God’s grace! Or someone who did so and succeeded in making her fall in love with him as well, so that when he blurted the words he didn’t even know he thought of in his soul she would smile and coo them right back, capitulating to copulation!!!

At the end of my rigorous massage however I can tell there is no difference and eventually when I bump into her she will recognize me, and with that, the flippant way I spewed out those words! And with that will come this sting in my eyes like I was dipped headfast in salty water! I grunt and pry my thoughts from that by looking at the apartment, whispers of the moonlight allowing me vision of its opulence and grandeur. Of what worth was it to me if it couldn’t grant me the simple pleasures of hearing her echo my sentiments?!!

Did I not see it in her eyes? Feel it in her kiss? In her movements? Her tone? When she cooked or agreed to do things that were evidently nuisances to her? Was I mad? Had it truly been a case of psychosis?? Had my brain nought else to do but dupe me into reading silent signatures of cupid’s hand writing in the things she did?? Was it my loins then?? I can barely feign apprehension as to why my main focus here is her response other than the fact that I am growing unwavering devotion for a tool or someone who was to be of the same importance to me in my struggle for freedom! I stand up and smooth my hair back. What retardation has she begotten of me??? What is my malfunction??

‘Freedom gents! Angelford is one step from eternal cunt in ways only he can imagine he would like!’ Koen announces at breakfast. I smile ‘we ought to have a party. All but Leigh are in a position to.’ Emery points out ‘we must! After the consequent successes of our ploys we should have a very vulgar party with breasteses on display and poles everywhere.’ Koen announces ‘we should call it the mannequin party and the dress code will be absolutely nothing on.’ Hilliard adds. I can’t believe she doesn’t love me!!! What didn’t I do?? What didn’t I do to deserve her heart?? Oughtn’t I have snipped it as she did mine??? ‘Angelford’s already imagining it in his head!’ Koen says, my posse laughing as though they knew where my head was in the first place. I spot Emery’s grey gaze on me as though he had an idea ‘fret not I tell you. Soon we will be in a scope full of sexual indiscriminates and they will be even more highly indiscriminate towards you.’ Hilliard assures me. I need to call her!! Maybe she thought over it last night and came to by now!!

‘You should have seen her face when I told her it was over!’ Hilliard chuckles. She’s not picking up my calls! It’s that simple! You know she’s not picking up your calls when you call her about forty times in a day and she doesn’t get back to you! Not even once! It’s like she’s just watching the phone ring and thinking ‘there’s that stupid Herve and his feeble heart that he’s giving me!’ well I ought to retract my statement and give my damn heart to someone who wants it! But how can I accomplish that fete if she snipped it from my chest when I wasn’t looking and is trying to return it when I want it with her??? I grunt ‘Is all well with you Mate? You keep looking at your phone like it has an explosive device.’ Koen notes, flashing his aqua eyes at me in concern ‘I’m expecting something.’ I state stiffly, catching Emery’s gaze once more. Does he know why she is doing this to me???!!! It’s been a day! I’ve given her an entire day to deliberate upon her feelings for me!! She ought to have realized by now that she had affections for me!!!

‘It was beautiful! I never knew saying bad things to a girl would make her want to have sex with you.’ Hilliard is still narrating the explicit details of his break up with Dionne who felt so bad she wanted to have sex with him. I study the Hazel eyed Red head ‘no wonder we’ve not been having excessive action! We’ve been taught to be genteel with the females!’ Koen points out ‘when all they really want is to be called a bitch and spanked!’ Hilliard reveals as though he had discovered the true meaning and source of energy. I ought to go to her apartment and spank her! That’s what I ought to do! ‘Black Jack!’ Emery announces triumphantly as I stare at my phone some more ‘Chap! You’ve got a black Jack too!’ Leigh says to me. Right! I slap the cards on the table and grab my glass of rum, taking it all down in a swig and snapping at Eustace to fill it up again. I need a mug of this.

‘What’s pending in your end of the corner?’ Koen worriedly pries ‘nothing he can talk about.’ Emery reports with a little smile lighting his grey eyes ‘I know what that is.’ Leigh says flashing his green eyes at me as though he was reading into my soul or some such thing ‘and what is it?’ Hilliard mockingly probes ‘isn’t it palpable? He got caught up in the ploy old chum!’ Leigh points out, Koen turning to me as though the intelligence was legend ‘he got caught up and has now grasped the idiocy of his ways but it’s too late to backpedal now, his mother already has the angst. He is left only to the guilt of it all and it is whittling away at his soul.’ Leigh melodramatically explains

 ‘Claptrap! Angelford has been the mastermind of a thousand ploys; he has never gotten caught and never shown any signs of scruples while he was at it! Why he helped all of us lose our virginity if you recall!’ Hilliard reads out my credits. I smile. I’m not guilty; I’m suffering from a Shakespearean fever that stems from unrequited love!!! ‘I ought to retire.’ I state standing up ‘I as well.’ Emery says following me out of the apartment ‘feeling a bit down are we?’ he says

‘What do you know?!’ I crossly demand pinning him to the wall ‘you have fondness for her. It’s all I can tell!’ he grunts in a sharp whisper ‘who have you told?!’ I haughtily inquire ‘Nought but you!’ he swears as I feel something choking me, my strength seeping out ‘and you know nothing of why she chooses to be this way towards me??’ I shakily pry, probing his grey eyes in case he feels somewhat touched by my plight and forsakes her confidence in him ‘Nothing.’ He vows as I release his collar ‘could you attempt to find out for me??’ I request solemnly, my throat soar and my eyes aching as though I had been staring at a light too long ‘I will endeavour to do so.’ he promises me with his hand cupping my shoulder in solidarity. I take in a deep breath and advance towards my apartment. Per chance she is there waiting for me with legs wide open, heart in palm!!


    The Story So Far...