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Love actuary
Requite Me My Love!
‘Herve
please!!’ she beseeches me ‘WHO’S BEGGING NOW??!’ I berate her as she curls up
under the table ‘why are you shouting at me???’ she cries out ‘BECAUSE YOU
WON’T LISTEN WHEN I TALK!! IT’S A NECESSARY ADJUSTMENT!’ I reprimand her fuming
at my wits end! What does she mean showing up in the arms of another man as
though she didn’t love me when she knew she did???!!! ‘Sir, I’m going to
request that you leave.’ The manager is saying to me ‘find out who I am and
then try that again.’ I warn him off haughtily before I turn to the girl making
me sit on the floor like I’m a dullard of some sort
‘WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???!’ I demand, my voice breaking a tad in emotion I’m not trying to show in public. She sighs, her coffee eyes probing me like she was about to cry herself ‘please understand...’ she softly whispers ‘UNDERSTAND WHAT SADIE??? WHAT IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND?? ENLIGHTEN ME!’ I importune ‘we can’t be together like this!’ she declares ‘HOW WOULD YOU KNOW??? HAVE YOU TRIED BEING TOGETHER WITH ME?? HAVE YOU?? BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I CHECKED YOU RAN OFF WHEN I ATTEMPTED IT!’ I scold her.
She moulds her face in her palm and then speechlessly stares at me like I was in fact a lunatic freshly escaped from the hospital ‘Sir! Please Leave!!!’ the angry manager states I turn a glare to him ‘Herve please!’ Sadie implores. I glare at her ‘FINE! I’M LEAVING!!’ I announce reaching under the table for her and pulling the struggling woman out before I lift us both to our feet ‘AND DON’T COME NEAR HER AGAIN!!’ I bellow at Simon before I drag the girl who had her head lowered so no one can see her face. As soon as we get out though she shirks her hand out of my grip
‘YOU ARE THE MOST EMBARRASSING MAN ON EARTH!!! I HATE YOU!!’ she screams at me ‘you hate me as much as you hate your stupid pride and you know it!!!’ I hiss melding our bodies together intimately with all the rage in me ‘let go of me!!’ she demands pointedly, her breath going awry as my hands push down from her arcing back to her behind ‘you love me!!’ I declare as she tenses her body, trying to win a battle we lost more than two months ago at our first kiss!!
‘I hate you!!’ she reiterates with a little gasp as I grope her behind, her legs palpably taking the impact harder than she can care to hide ‘you love me; and for some reason that scares you. So you refuse to admit it to yourself and to me, showing up with your little trophy boyfriend in there as though it will cover up the number of times I cross your mind or the number of situations you think of me when you’re with him!! You think you can outfox your heart Sadie! Think again!’ I haul her over the coals and watch her burn mercilessly, her fingers digging into the collar of my sweater as her strength slips past her to me
‘you don’t understand! We can’t love each other!!’ she maintains ‘Why???’ I demand crossly ‘I can’t love you like this.’ She cries out softly ‘You do!’ I point out ‘I don’t have a light heart! I doubt I can love more than once in my life and I’m not about to waste that one chance on a dead end situation like this!’ she divulges, slashing right through me with her tongue ‘why do you think it’s a dead end??!’ I probe in a cracked voice, choking back grunts of agony
She sighs painfully and closes her eyes ‘don’t be blind! Your parents hate me; which would be okay if I was just your girlfriend! But if I love you I’m going to need to be more than your girlfriend, which I can’t because it will cost you your inheritance and you are the most helpless individual I have ever met! You can’t stand on your own without them and you probably won’t be able to! Your parents hate me! Your friends are boring! We barely have anything in common and being together is jeopardizing our future as well as our education!! There’s nowhere we’re going with this! So let’s just stop now!!’ she pleads with me.
I stare at the shattered woman in my arms, receiving the chill of my life as though someone was injecting Helium into my blood as we stood there ‘we can work through this!’ I decide sternly, shaking her as though she would wake from whatever grave reason had attempted to bury her in! ‘We can’t.’ She whispers teary eyed
‘We can! WE CAN!!!’ I roar as if the words can stir up some celestial port that will straighten the state of affairs for us ‘I’ve thought about it . We can’t.’ She divulges ‘do you love me??’ I investigate impassioned ‘ its immater...’ she starts ‘Do you love me???!!!’ I bellow ‘yes!’ she whispers crisply as though she was about to break down and cry ‘then we should work this out. Love only knows no winter; never dies; nor cares for frowning storms or leaden skies And mine for you shall never pass away, Though my weak lips may falter in my lay!’ I quote Oscar Wilde to perfection. Her eyes open, the milk less coffee searching my soul ‘we can do this. I’m an actuary in a matter of months; I think I should be able to assess the risks of this wonderfully.’ I assure her.
My Sadie!! My wonderful marvellous Sadie!!! She gives me a weak smile ‘we could try.’ She whispers ‘we owe it.’ I vow melding our lips together as I feel the blissful sensation of heavy loads being lifted with every lightning feel of her lips on mine, her body fitting against mine like a key to its enzyme, unlocking potentials that had been a secret even to me!! Even to me who had owned this body for twenty four meaningless years until she touched it!! My Sadie! Mine!!!
‘WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???!’ I demand, my voice breaking a tad in emotion I’m not trying to show in public. She sighs, her coffee eyes probing me like she was about to cry herself ‘please understand...’ she softly whispers ‘UNDERSTAND WHAT SADIE??? WHAT IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND?? ENLIGHTEN ME!’ I importune ‘we can’t be together like this!’ she declares ‘HOW WOULD YOU KNOW??? HAVE YOU TRIED BEING TOGETHER WITH ME?? HAVE YOU?? BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I CHECKED YOU RAN OFF WHEN I ATTEMPTED IT!’ I scold her.
She moulds her face in her palm and then speechlessly stares at me like I was in fact a lunatic freshly escaped from the hospital ‘Sir! Please Leave!!!’ the angry manager states I turn a glare to him ‘Herve please!’ Sadie implores. I glare at her ‘FINE! I’M LEAVING!!’ I announce reaching under the table for her and pulling the struggling woman out before I lift us both to our feet ‘AND DON’T COME NEAR HER AGAIN!!’ I bellow at Simon before I drag the girl who had her head lowered so no one can see her face. As soon as we get out though she shirks her hand out of my grip
‘YOU ARE THE MOST EMBARRASSING MAN ON EARTH!!! I HATE YOU!!’ she screams at me ‘you hate me as much as you hate your stupid pride and you know it!!!’ I hiss melding our bodies together intimately with all the rage in me ‘let go of me!!’ she demands pointedly, her breath going awry as my hands push down from her arcing back to her behind ‘you love me!!’ I declare as she tenses her body, trying to win a battle we lost more than two months ago at our first kiss!!
‘I hate you!!’ she reiterates with a little gasp as I grope her behind, her legs palpably taking the impact harder than she can care to hide ‘you love me; and for some reason that scares you. So you refuse to admit it to yourself and to me, showing up with your little trophy boyfriend in there as though it will cover up the number of times I cross your mind or the number of situations you think of me when you’re with him!! You think you can outfox your heart Sadie! Think again!’ I haul her over the coals and watch her burn mercilessly, her fingers digging into the collar of my sweater as her strength slips past her to me
‘you don’t understand! We can’t love each other!!’ she maintains ‘Why???’ I demand crossly ‘I can’t love you like this.’ She cries out softly ‘You do!’ I point out ‘I don’t have a light heart! I doubt I can love more than once in my life and I’m not about to waste that one chance on a dead end situation like this!’ she divulges, slashing right through me with her tongue ‘why do you think it’s a dead end??!’ I probe in a cracked voice, choking back grunts of agony
She sighs painfully and closes her eyes ‘don’t be blind! Your parents hate me; which would be okay if I was just your girlfriend! But if I love you I’m going to need to be more than your girlfriend, which I can’t because it will cost you your inheritance and you are the most helpless individual I have ever met! You can’t stand on your own without them and you probably won’t be able to! Your parents hate me! Your friends are boring! We barely have anything in common and being together is jeopardizing our future as well as our education!! There’s nowhere we’re going with this! So let’s just stop now!!’ she pleads with me.
I stare at the shattered woman in my arms, receiving the chill of my life as though someone was injecting Helium into my blood as we stood there ‘we can work through this!’ I decide sternly, shaking her as though she would wake from whatever grave reason had attempted to bury her in! ‘We can’t.’ She whispers teary eyed
‘We can! WE CAN!!!’ I roar as if the words can stir up some celestial port that will straighten the state of affairs for us ‘I’ve thought about it . We can’t.’ She divulges ‘do you love me??’ I investigate impassioned ‘ its immater...’ she starts ‘Do you love me???!!!’ I bellow ‘yes!’ she whispers crisply as though she was about to break down and cry ‘then we should work this out. Love only knows no winter; never dies; nor cares for frowning storms or leaden skies And mine for you shall never pass away, Though my weak lips may falter in my lay!’ I quote Oscar Wilde to perfection. Her eyes open, the milk less coffee searching my soul ‘we can do this. I’m an actuary in a matter of months; I think I should be able to assess the risks of this wonderfully.’ I assure her.
My Sadie!! My wonderful marvellous Sadie!!! She gives me a weak smile ‘we could try.’ She whispers ‘we owe it.’ I vow melding our lips together as I feel the blissful sensation of heavy loads being lifted with every lightning feel of her lips on mine, her body fitting against mine like a key to its enzyme, unlocking potentials that had been a secret even to me!! Even to me who had owned this body for twenty four meaningless years until she touched it!! My Sadie! Mine!!!
